Imagine dining at a world-renowned restaurant, enjoying an incredible meal, and then—just as you're about to leave—the server surprises you with a small but deeply thoughtful gesture that makes the entire experience unforgettable.
That’s what unreasonable hospitality is all about—not just doing what’s required, but going above and beyond in small, meaningful ways that make people feel seen and valued.
The concept comes from Unreasonable Hospitality by Will Guidara, the former owner of Eleven Madison Park, which he helped transform into the number one restaurant in the world. But this idea isn’t just for restaurants—it can change the way we interact with our neighbors, too. When we go beyond expectations in our relationships, we create warmth, connection, and a sense of belonging in our neighborhoods.
Here’s how we can apply unreasonable hospitality in our own neighborhoods:
1. Pay Attention and Be Intentional
One of the key lessons from Guidara’s book is that great hospitality starts with noticing people. At Eleven Madison Park, the staff didn’t just serve food—they observed their guests and found creative ways to enhance their experience. One famous example involved a family from Spain who was thrilled to see snow in New York. The restaurant staff secretly arranged for sleds and a driver to take them to Central Park after dinner. That simple act turned a great night into an unforgettable one.
In neighboring, noticing means paying attention to the small details. Did a new family just move in? Welcome them with a thoughtful gift, like a basket of snacks or a local restaurant gift card. Did you overhear a neighbor mention their favorite coffee order? Surprise them with their go-to drink one morning. Did someone mention a tough season in life? Drop off a note or a small treat to let them know you’re thinking of them.
The smallest gestures—when done intentionally—can have the biggest impact.
2. Make Hospitality Fun and Unexpected
Guidara encourages businesses to budget for “5% foolishness”—spending a small amount of resources in a way that might seem impractical but creates lasting memories. In a neighboring context, that might mean surprising your street’s kids with hot chocolate and donuts on a cold morning or dropping off “snow day donuts” to families after a big storm.
Maybe it’s throwing an impromptu sidewalk chalk contest for the kids in the summer or baking an extra batch of cookies to share with someone who could use a pick-me-up.
Hospitality doesn’t have to be extravagant to be unreasonable. It just has to be something a little extra—a little outside the norm—that shows people they matter.
3. Make Caring Cool
Guidara talks about making it cool to care—creating a culture where going out of your way for others isn’t weird but celebrated. What if our neighborhoods felt like that? What if acts of kindness weren’t just random but part of the culture of where we live?
One way to do this is by setting an example. If you’re the one who starts thoughtful traditions, like giving a small gift to a neighbor after they return from a trip, others might follow. If you organize a community meal train when someone is sick or has a baby, it could spark a habit of collective caring. If you’re always the one remembering names and celebrating milestones, it encourages others to do the same.
And let’s not forget that unreasonable hospitality is deeply biblical. God’s grace is wildly generous—unexpected, lavish, and completely undeserved. From creation’s beauty to the way Jesus humbled Himself to serve, love, and give, we see a model of hospitality that goes far beyond what’s expected. As we’ve been loved unreasonably, we can extend that same spirit to those around us.
The Takeaway
Unreasonable hospitality in neighboring isn’t about grand gestures or flashy events—it’s about being thoughtful, noticing people, and creating small moments of connection. It’s about generosity, creativity, and making kindness cool. And the best part? The expectations for neighboring are so low that even the smallest acts of care can feel extraordinary.
So what’s one small, “unreasonable” thing you could do for a neighbor this week? A handwritten note, a small treat, or even just remembering their coffee order? Whatever it is, it just might turn an ordinary interaction into something unforgettable.
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